Seriously?

Am I serious about my plans?  Hell yes!

Am I doing everything possible to get where I want to go? Hell no! I could do so much more.

WHAT is holding me back??? Why do I keep bingeing on stupid shit and then end up feeling like a failure?

I KNOW what I need to do, I need to stop my self sabotaging behaviour and get on with it. I need to finish what I started with my weight loss. I got halfway there, I know its possible. FFS, its only 10kg. It is only food after all. WHY is this so difficult? Am I dense? Clearly I am.

The funny this is that my motivation is weight loss so I can run faster/easier. I think about that every time I run or exercise. Then I get home and gorge myself for two reasons - I am really hungry after my run and just for the hell of it, because I can. How is that for stupid?

It is back to the drawing board for me - planning, planning, planning. Keeping it simple. I don't need a gourmet meal every time. Cereal and skim milk, soup, steak or chicken and vegetables, etc will do me just fine. I need to cut back on my salt intake too.

WHAT is stopping me from losing weight? Not being able to eat what I want when I want? It may be a control thing, who knows.

I know the positives outweigh the negatives, by far. I also know I can do this. Good nutrition and weight loss will improve my health (and running times).